I feel like this book can be seperated into two parts. Even though Esther's plumet into insanity is gradual, I felt like during her depression she was Esther #2. Prior to her suicidal thoughts, Esther #1 was sarcastic and cynical, but she still seemed to have SOMETHING keeping her going. One thing I found so interesting was how Plath managed to make her suicide seem so rational. I think was a parallel to her own thoughts on suicide which apparently resurfaced later in her life. Someone on the outside of the "bell jar" would see suicide as either cowardly, or just horrifyingly (made up a worddd chyea) tragic. Yet Plath, being inside the bell jar herself can justify suicide as a valid solution to the problems that face her. Speaking of the problems, I saw many distinct causes to Esthers' depression.
One major factor was Esther's indecisiveness. Esther believed that she had to make a choice about her future while she was in college because of the people surrounding her asking her what her plans were. After realizing she didn't have a distinct plan Esther goes further to say "I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest" 77, meaning she wants to do all of these things, but felt that if she chose one path for her life she would miss out on all other oppurtunites surrounding her. This caused her to be so frustrated that Esther concluded doing nothing would just be simpler. Also, Buddy points out that Esther is neurotic because she can't decide between the city and the country; she desires both. Personally, I could relate to this cause of Esthers depression because when people ask me what kind of college I want to go to I end up thinking I want to be in the middle of a city, yet I'd also want a beautiful campus far away from highways and traffic. I think everyone at one time is confused by their future, but unfortunatly Esther cannot handle her problems, so she doesn't deal with them at all.
I think Esther's numbness is a coping mechanism because of the death of her father and how men have treated her in the past. When her dad died, Esther and her mom never properly mourned the loss. By Esther watching this as a young child she learned to bottle her emotions rather than let people see she is upset. Also, when she had high expectations about men (Buddy, Lennys friend) they always let her down. Previosuly she said if you didn't have expectations you could never be let down. Further into her depression she has completely gone numb and claims "I knew I should be greatful...only I couldn't feel a thing...where ever I sat-I would be sitting under the same glass bell jar, stewing in my own sour air" 185. Esther is "IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTIONNNN"--Ron Burgandy, and until she can swqueeze herself out, she will always feel like ending her life would be indefinitly better than doing the same thing every day, if she was only going to die in the end.
Eventually, Esther kind of finds her way out of her depression. I think this comes about because of the shock therapy, and talking to Dr. Nolan. I wish Plath had included more of the conversations between her and her doctor because they were definitly crucial in her healing. I definitly didn't want to play hop-scotch or jump rope with my gal pals when I was done with this book, but there were a lot of parts I enjoyed in the bell jar. Plath should've just written a straight up autobiography BUTTT i guess she wanted to spice some stuff up, and leave a lil out here and there. Shweeeeet NoVeL
x0x0x0x*****~~~~~@ndrea
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